RAT VS MONKEY

My wife and I started going back to school recently. She on track to finish with two AA degrees, and I’ll need another semester at least to finish one. I’ve taken five classes so far in this return, and all of my classmates seem to be intelligible people. For some reason my wife, having taken only two classes, has ended up with someone crazy in each.

Her Women’s History class in the summer had a lady who regularly tried to bible bash with the teacher, so much so the teacher had to publicly threaten to call the Dean on her. In her current class - some funky name I can’t remember but it has something to do with helping children discover mathematics – she has, among others, one of those classmates who insists they know something because of some silly reason.

My wife loves telling me about these people and their embarrassments, she has little patience for annoying people. One day, not long ago, she told me about how the class had an assignment to determine, by means of the Chinese Zodiac, the year of the United States, 1776. The afore mentioned classmate insisted 1776 was the year of the Rat, knowing this somehow through the knowledge that this classmate’s herself was year of the Monkey.

I, not knowing off the top of my head the proper zodiac, assumed this classmate was correct, reasoning: Oh, that explains why we keep going into places where we are not welcome and making a mess.

It turned out though, after my wife came home and looked it up, that 1776 is also the year of the Monkey. My wife is eager to see how this will affect her all knowing classmate. Even though this rendered my rat comment obsolete, I am still conforted. As the year of the Monkey that explains why we dance and play and throw our poop at the other nations of the world.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my country but no matter where you stand on international affairs one must admit America doesn’t have a glorious track record.

In case any of you are curious I discovered my Chinese zodiac while serving my mission. I was curious after meeting a family who explained to me that the mother and daughter were a tiger and dragon respectively, and the father and son were a rabbit and dog respectively. Anyone else notice how the women are powerful carnivores and the men are cute little playthings. I myself was quite dismayed at finding out I’m a chicken.