As for Dave, I love him, but my wife hates him, so one of the two would have to go overboard. Decisions, decisions...
(Not Actually my Wife)Whenever Elder Wood is near, you will find yourself in the hospital.
It amazes me quite often that in nearly 30 years of life I have avoided every accident, injury, illness, or other situation that would require a visit to the hospital, but for a single small 10 month excerpt. During those months I found myself in the Pacific and was rushed to the Emergency Room on 4 separate and completely unrelated occasions, followed later by a mysterious ailment that sent me home. The one commonality was the Elder Wood happened to be nearby.
One day Elder Wood, then one of my Zone Leaders, and I went out on splits together. Enroot to our first appointment a bike accident sent me to the emergency room.
Several weeks later again Elder Wood, still my Zone Leader, and I had spent the day together on splits. Just before we were to call it a day another trip to the ER was made when I passed out during a ward activity.
Several more weeks later Elder Wood, now an AP, was visiting our island for training purposes. Though we were not on splits that day, he ended up being the one to drive me to the ER after the pole pounder dropped on my head.
Shortly after I was transferred to another island, the same island Wood happened to be on, another trip was made to the ER after a bad reaction to some macadamia nuts.
Wood was there when I went to Mission HQ to pick up my newest companion, that day I saw the first sign of the ailment that would eventually send me home.
For his last 6 weeks in the islands, Wood was given his choice of assignments. He chose to train a greenie. That same period I was emergency transferred to the same area and just days before the 6 weeks had ended president called to tell me that it was time I headed home.
Wood and I thought we would head home on the same flight, but because of my medical problems, President decided to send me home on the first available flight. In hindsight this was probably a good thing, for if we’d flow together surely the plane would have crashed.
My wife and I started going back to school recently. She on track to finish with two AA degrees, and I’ll need another semester at least to finish one. I’ve taken five classes so far in this return, and all of my classmates seem to be intelligible people. For some reason my wife, having taken only two classes, has ended up with someone crazy in each.
Her Women’s History class in the summer had a lady who regularly tried to bible bash with the teacher, so much so the teacher had to publicly threaten to call the Dean on her. In her current class - some funky name I can’t remember but it has something to do with helping children discover mathematics – she has, among others, one of those classmates who insists they know something because of some silly reason.
My wife loves telling me about these people and their embarrassments, she has little patience for annoying people. One day, not long ago, she told me about how the class had an assignment to determine, by means of the Chinese Zodiac, the year of the
I, not knowing off the top of my head the proper zodiac, assumed this classmate was correct, reasoning: Oh, that explains why we keep going into places where we are not welcome and making a mess.
It turned out though, after my wife came home and looked it up, that 1776 is also the year of the Monkey. My wife is eager to see how this will affect her all knowing classmate. Even though this rendered my rat comment obsolete, I am still conforted. As the year of the Monkey that explains why we dance and play and throw our poop at the other nations of the world.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my country but no matter where you stand on international affairs one must admit
In case any of you are curious I discovered my Chinese zodiac while serving my mission. I was curious after meeting a family who explained to me that the mother and daughter were a tiger and dragon respectively, and the father and son were a rabbit and dog respectively. Anyone else notice how the women are powerful carnivores and the men are cute little playthings. I myself was quite dismayed at finding out I’m a chicken.
In one of my classes this semester we recently gave oral presentations on issues of our own choosing. I was one of three that chose the issue of marriage. I was rather disappointed in the other two speakers, I get that way when I encounter people that do not seem open to multiple points of view. Of course I could be wrong about them and I hope I am, but their presentations came across as a challenge to their opposition. Instead of welcoming a productive discussion it seemed they were entrenched on their side and insulting what they portrayed as the only reason for the existence of opposition. Such discussions are hardly productive and I believe at the heart of the very issue being in such bitter a conflict as it is.
This was my presentation:
Since before my time there has been a variety of arguments in our country concerning the separation of Church and State Most recently this has had a significant revival on the subject of marriage. Some say that marriage is an inalienable right to all people regardless of circumstances, while others say it is a sacred privilege that is not to be altered or mocked. Who has the final say on the issue of marriage, Church or State? Is there a common ground for both?
I am interested in this matter because my home state seems to have become the main battleground of this conflict. I have participated in not one but two votes on the matter, paid close attention to legal challenges that followed, and have close family members, as well as friends, on both sides of the issue. The matter has often weighed heavily on my mind because I see serious pros and cons to both, and like everyone else I cannot accurately predict what will happen with either victory. There is only speculation. It also bothers me how extreme people on both sides have gone in their references for the motives and mannerisms of their opponents.
The Constitution’s, and its subsequent amendments’, language has been interpreted in so many different ways by so many different people making it of no help in resolving this conflict. Ultimately the Supreme Court has the final say on how the Constitution’s language is to be interpreted, but as yet they have not gotten involved.
In the past, regulations and requirements for marriage have been left to the sovereignty of the States in the
I propose a happy middle ground that I believe can be found by indeed keeping Church and State separate:
Allow Churches to regulate marriage by the dictates of their own faith and rules without any interference from the State. This would mean no more marriage licenses, the only authority two people need is from their pastor, bishop, priest, whatever, or his superiors if there be any. This would also mean an end to all tax credits, benefits, or inheritance rights currently afforded by the State to married couples. Marriage would once again be a private matter between spouses and whatever higher being they believe in not recognized in any way shape or form by government.
Any and all couples, weather married or not, who want to be recognized by the State can apply for a civil union. Now we already have these so some changes should be made. These unions can be a right, and therefore everybody could enter into such a union with anybody they want. These unions would grant the tax credits, benefits, inheritance rights and whatever other things the State decides.
With this, churches will be free to teach their differing views on the morality of marriage, schools will teach the existence of civil unions, and parents would, hopefully, teach their children to do both.
History is full of stories involving mysterious curses that have made even the most skeptical of people open their minds to possibility. Death came to the founders of King Tutankhamen’s tomb just as the curse warning trespassers away said. The Romanovs,
My personal favorite is an American curse that some claim has taken the lives of several
The exact words of the curse are unknown, but according to Ripley’s the curse details that every President of the
The identity of whoever cast this curse is also a mystery, but popular opinion suggests it was one of two Native American brothers who lost everything at a battle near a river called Tippiecanoe.
In the Early 1800’s two brothers decided to work together in finding a means of protecting their people and their lands from the encroaching white settlers. Their names were Tecumseh and Tenskwatawa. The former was a chief among their people and the later was believed to be a prophet. One night the prophet had a vision in which he was told if his people should abandon all the customs and goods of the whites then the Great Spirit (Master of Life, God) would reward them by driving out the whites. The brothers spread word of this revelation and their people gathered in large numbers to a place near
In the fall of 1811 the Indian population settled near the river had grown so vast that the white settlers became quite nervous. Rather than flee as Tenskwatawa prophesied they would, the settlers demanded the government protect them from the savages. The Governor himself, William Henry Harrison
The date on which these brothers, if not another being, cast this curse is also a mystery. Although there was an election in 1820 it is easy to see why the curse began with the election of 1840.
The Election of 1840 -
The curse begins with William Henry Harrison
The Election of 1860 - Abraham Lincoln defeats Stephen A. Douglas
On the fourteenth day of April, 1865, little more than a month into his second term as President of the
The Election of 1880 - James A. Garfield defeats Winfield S. Hancock
On July 2, 1881 President Garfield was shot by a disgruntled man whose political ambitions had been setback. The bullet was never removed, for it was never found, and though for a time it appeared that President Garfield might recover, an infection and internal bleeding took him in mid September of that same year.
The Election of 1900 - Incumbent William McKinley
Roughly a year after his reelection, President McKinley was shot twice by a deranged anarchist in September of 1901. He survived another eight days before succumbing to his wounds.
The Election of 1920 - Warren G. Harding defeats James M. Cox
Whilst contemplating to unveil a scandal in his administration, Harding died of a heart attack in a
The Election of 1940 - Incumbent
On April 12, 1945, mere months before the surrender of
The Election of 1960 -
While parading in
The Election of 1980 - Ronald W. Reagan defeats Incumbent
On January 20, 1981, Reagan was shot while getting into his car, but… he quickly recovered and returned to work. He completed two full terms in office, and died a civilian over a decade later.
The Election of 2000 -
It suffices to say that shoes are not lethal weapons, and the former President survives to this day.
Now, with this knowledge in hand let us ask ourselves two questions:
First, is the curse real or was it invented to fill the pages of Ripley’s Believe It or Not? We may never know, but consider the following: Ripley’s first published this in 1931, prior to two of these Presidents’ deaths. Also, of so far 44 Presidents, eight have died in office and seven of those are on this list.
Second, did Ronald Reagan defeat the curse? It is possible, after all he survived as did Bush after him. However of 9 presidents elected on a year ending in 0, the curse’s record is currently 7 to 2. That’s a success rate of greater than 75% a conclusive result in most any experiment.
Whether you are a skeptic or a believer, we shall have to wait and see the results of the next election in 2020 before exploring the matter further. Consider what you have read when a friend or a loved one tells you they intend to go into politics.
