For the last several months my wife has been making a list of reasons for why she loves me. It’s a very nice thing to do, I enjoy reading it, and I’ll miss reading it when the list stops after our anniversary. In particular I’ve enjoyed reading the comments of various friends and family members made to certain things on this list, Freezer Tetris among my favorites.
My wife mentioned to me that some of her friends have been telling her now that she nears completion of this list that it is my turn. They believe I need to make a similar list for why I love my wife. This is not a bad idea. There’s certainly nothing forbidding or preventing me from composing such a list. I have as yet not made such a list because I do not feel it necessary, and I will tell you why.
My wife began making her list because she recognized that she was being quite cruel to me. She knew she was assuming the worst of me at all times and blaming me for all that was not perfect in her life, and she also knew this was damaging our family rather than strengthening it. She decided she needed to force herself to find the good in me, and I think it has worked marvelously.
Though her moments of cruelty cut me quite deeply on occasion, I have never subscribed to that idea of getting even. I’ve never attempted to be cruel to her in return, I’ve never blamed her solely responsible for any imperfections in our life, and though I do on occasion expect the worst from her I have never drawn a premature conclusion that she would act in the worst. We all have faults, some of us are more tolerant than others, some of us are more enduring than others, and some of us are more accepting than others.
I do not need to remind myself why I love my wife nor search for the reasons why I do so. If ever I were to compose a list of reasons it would be because I want to boast of my wife’s awesomeness, for she is awesome, not because I need to get over her faults. Boasting is something I try not to do because, in addition to leading to pride, it can hurt the feelings of people who have not had the same good fortunes that I have enjoyed.
An example:
My wife has boasted much of me these last few months, if you don’t believe me then read her list. I submit that her boasting has made her friends saddened when they think of the inferior grade husbands they have gotten stuck with, and the fact that I haven’t made a list is one thing they can make out to be a fault with me in an attempt to assuage their lack of satisfaction with the aforementioned inferior models.
I do not wish to make my fellow brethren feel disappointed with their wives, and so I will not boast of my wife’s awesomeness.
I love my wife.
What a crock! Sounds like squirming to me.
ReplyDeleteEve your comment sounds like bitter jealousy to me, but then we could both be wrong.
ReplyDeleteI like Shirley's list. It has made me realize that I should be more mindful of the things that Cary does for me, and not always point out or even acknowledge his faults. So occasionally, I do post a "why I love Cary" comment on my Facebook. On some days it is easy, and on many more it is harder.
ReplyDeleteSO, with that being said, if you don't feel a need to make a list of why your wife rocks, then you shouldn't have too. That means that YOU KNOW WHY and you don't need to think about it or find something that she does or says that makes you love her.
But I also hope your wifes list has made a difference in your marragie, for the better. And now, we all know how great you are:)